Every time I read anything Barbara Kingsolver writes I feel
as though I am in the hands of a gentle masseuse working over the knotty areas of
my consciousness that keep me separated in fear and judgement from those who are
so different from me; either uneducated, poor, physically or mentally
challenged, rich or simply brought up in a different culture. Ms. Kingsolver writes about climate change and
the endless wars created by the unending consumption of fossil fuels as well as
the damage being done to all sentient life and the air, water and soil that
sustains us all. Ms. Kingsolver is also an expert on the subject and writes
with the authority of one who has endless knowledge and experience in this
area. But the impact of her words comes from the way she writes that goes
beyond knowledge, education and even experience.
Unlike the scientific writing that speaks only to educated
and subordinates those who may not accept these facts, Kingsolver first goes to
the “heart” of the matter, examining first her humanness and then connecting on
a larger level with her audience that excludes no one. As I have been reading
her collection of essays, entitled “Small Wonder,” I am once again reminded
that I need to approach anything I write on any subject in this manner.
Recently, I have re-entered the field of education and taken it upon myself in
retirement to perhaps offer what I know and have experienced as something to
help guide others through the maze of misunderstandings and polarization that
is of deep concern to me.
I have been watching the events unfurl at the national level
as we all have and have been assessing any fear and judgement of the current
administration as it conflicts with my own resistance to change. I am a historian
and strongly believe that those who refuse to learn the lessons from history
will continue to repeat the actions, thus stifling the growth of humanity in
general. I have seen this happen and even wrote my first book about the
development of American history based on what I perceive to be mistakes that
need to be addressed as we face the challenges created by these acts in the 21st
Century.
I also believe that as a nation we have stopped reading and
stopped looking at our society with a critical eye and base all of our
responses upon the limited world of our own egos and the small area of love
that is only as big as the circle of our own arms. This is definitely
judgmental, but I have approached this through the first person because I have
come to this belief after a breakdown that forced me to first learn these
things about myself. Since that time my mantra has been “be the change you want
to see.” And so, I asked myself this question last night as I watched events
unfold with the current administration that pulled me back into judgement and
condemnation, the very acts I witnessed from our new President, especially his
ideas on torture and his inability to start a free and open debate with those
who disagree with him. What do I need to change in myself was the question I
posed as I closed my eyes to ponder this before going to sleep. The answer came
right away, “You must love Donald Trump and try to come into any critique of
his actions from that standpoint.” Wow! What
a challenge.
I spent a long night releasing fear, anger and judgement,
not thinking about any of my wonderful solutions I could offer to the world to
make things better. When I awoke, I had a strange feeling of peace, free from
the shadow of depression that had clouded my world for the past month. I sat
down with my coffee and picked up “Small Wonder” and began to read the essay on
“Flying” which was about Kingsolver’s response to the attacks on September 11th. I was once again in awe of the way she
expressed deep understanding and compassion for the people who died on that
day, not the political ramifications of war. She expanded the feelings of those
Americans to the larger world where every day seems to be a September 11th.
As I read the essay two quotes stood out in my That quote reminded me of what I heard Donald
Trump declare about torture last night. “I don’t like seeing Christians
beheaded and anything that works to stop that is okay.” These are not his exact
words, but what I inferred from his words.
I had a hard time loving any person who could say that, but I worked on
it last night. That was my challenge last night as I wrestled with this. My answer to my response to this came in a
second quote that I read this morning, “and I can make no claim to goodness
until I can prove that mean people have not made me mean.”
Her final words about our response to the attack on 911 came
not from her but from the father of Oscar Rodriquez who died that day. “I know
there is anger; I feel it myself. But I don’t want my son used as a pawn to justify
the killing of others. We, as a nation, should not use the same means as the
people who attacked us.”
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